An Old Journal Entry Part 1

I have notebooks and journals here and there in the house, not specific books I write in everyday, just ones I take notes in during bible study or when I feel like writing out prayers.  Yesterday I came across two I wrote during another faith testing time in our families life.  I was almost 5 months pregnant with our 2nd son, Chris was contemplating getting out of the Marines and I was very unhappy at my part time job.

June 1, 2008

I get so worried before I pay bills.  We planned for my check to be extra to pay our debt down, but so often it doesn't seem to make it that far.  Chris might be changing jobs, possibly even making less money, but this is what God is showing us........it is so hard to follow sometimes.

In the reading today Jesus is in attendance at a wedding.  A feast followed that was not necessary for life, but very important to the time and culture.  In the midst of this the wine runs out and Jesus turns water into wine.  Now the wine that He made was not just bottom of the shelf jug wine, but top shelf good stuff.  In the new couples time of need Jesus provided and He provided well.

God provides.  Whether we deserve it or ask for it, He provides for our needs.  Time after time, I pay bills and am surprised by God's goodness.  I worry and sweat and toil and then there is God who speaks and it is accomplished.  He has provided for us what we need and sometimes not a lot beyond, but it is a testament to His goodness and provision.

Thank you Lord for the wonderful ways you have taken care of our family.  Your love is great than anything we can imagine.  Your power and goodness know no limit.  You are great.  I know that in my life I can never repay you, but I ask that through the power of the Holy Spirit I may offer myself to you.  I am broken, flawed, fearful of trusting, not easy to love and sinful.  Yet knowing all this you accepted me as your own and so I desire to seek your face; my offering of praise and thanks!

Amen

We made it through those days by God's grace and I hold tight to His promises that He will see us through the rough days now too!